Sources with no direct contact or knowledge of the ex-President have reported that George W. Bush set his alarm clock back to 2003 last night, in an misguided attempt to get himself back into the White House. Unnamed White House staffers reported that they were shocked to find the former Commander-In-Chief prowling the Rose Garden early this morning, trying to shake open the locked windows and doors that lead to the Oval Office. A intrusion this bold onto the grounds of the White House would normally be met with deadly force, but Secret Service agents quickly recognized the distinctive ear shapes of W. in the morning light and held their fire.

W. was heard giggling softly as he drifted off to sleep.

When confronted, Bush kept repeating the phrase "Let's get to work- git ur done", over and over again, as if in some sort of sleepwalking trance. Doctors were summoned, and recognizing that Bush was clearly not connected with reality, they recommended that he be left alone until he could be coaxed into a waiting limousine for transport back to Texas. It was unclear how he made the trip from Texas to D.C., but few people turn down the friendly ex-President when he needs a ride.

Instead of rolling his alarm clock back 1 hour, Bush had apparently gone to sleep the night before and set his alarm back 6 years, somehow convinced that this would return him to the heyday of his administration. It wasn't until the Houston Texans took the football field on Sunday did Bush seem to snap back to reality, with no knowledge of what had happened the night before, or of his trip to Washington. To keep him calm until kickoff, doctors let Bush point out where he wanted troops deployed on a map of Iraq, watch video of old bombing missions on You Tube, and sign sheets of newspaper they told him were amendments to the Patriot Act.

George W. Bush image used under CC license from amarine88

Watch image © Martin Green from BigStockPhoto.com